Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
