You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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