you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
