How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
