i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
