her vagine was all disorganized.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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