i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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