She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
