i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
