You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sorry about my life...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
