So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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