I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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