He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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