my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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