Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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