that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
