I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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