wanna go halves on a baby?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am one with the molecules
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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