You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
