Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
