That's when you crack a 10am beer
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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