Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
