And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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