do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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