The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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