Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
