Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
