Having a random hookup so left but love u
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm too high and old for this...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
