he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
