i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
