oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
