i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
