Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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