Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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