I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
