this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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