i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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