it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
