she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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