I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize