Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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