I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize