i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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