3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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