Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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