Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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