no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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