Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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