So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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