i may or may not be watching the land before time
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
