This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
