Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize