I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
