I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
