i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
