The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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