Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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