Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ladies don't puke and tell
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
