after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
