he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
