I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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