Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
